Beyond Cancer II: The Gift of Presence
This blog is about music, love and life. This entry is more on the life and love side of things which ultimately, I find, inspires the music. I thought I’d pick up where I left off in the blog entry before last about a close family member who was recently diagnosed with cancer. Needless to say, these last few weeks have been life changing. I’ve blogged not as regularly as I’d have liked, I’ve come to realize, because I wanted to blog about something on the lighter side, you know, like about ice cream, kittens, or unicorns, anything but cancer! But that’s life, I suppose. Sometimes when we find ourselves in challenging places all there is to do is take what’s given to us, do our best to turn it around and find the good in it, even if it’s simply some small treasure of a lesson. So I thought I’d share a bit about where we are so far in this new journey.
Weekly I go to chemotherapy treatments with her. In a room called the Infusion Center we meet. It’s basically a long, rectangular room. On one side there is a long, open nurse’s station where medications are prepared and nurses are available to help at a moment’s notice. On the other side of the room are spaces sectioned off by curtains. In each space there is a reclining chair and television where patients sit for hours receiving their chemotherapy treatments intravenously. Recently her doctor found another cancerous spot and so upped her to a stronger medication. Treatments now will take nearly double the amount of time as they had previously. So patience is in order while we wait in the quiet longer. It’s quiet like a library, but a little more relaxed. The chances of being shushed for talking are low, yet somehow the quiet is understood. And it’s a still, respectful and calming quiet.
With each visit I have charged myself with the most very important task of bringing her animal cookies. You know the kind in the little cardboard box with the string handle that has the circus animals printed on it? She loves those. It’s funny how the littlest things can light up someone’s eyes. Animal shaped cookies can somehow transport a grown woman who’s a wife and mother back to carefree summer days when she was just a pig-tailed little girl running out to play. The gift is more than the cookies, though. The gift is presence, for her and for me. Being together and relishing every moment now and those that came before. And relishing even the embarrassing ones like fighting over a piece of chocolate cake when we were little! What was that about?! From a chair seated right next to her I kiss her forehead, watch her doze off, come to, we chit chat for a few words, then she dozes off again. Our time together flows in many directions, but no matter when at its core is Love. And our time together melts away my worries of what tomorrow may bring as gratitude somehow holds my heart in the time we have today, here and now.
We’re compiling a list of resource links for cancer care support to share. If you have links you want to share please email to: admin@jrrecordingco.com.
Thanks for lending your ears.
Truly,
JR
(c)2010 JR Rhodes
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Filed under: Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Thank you for sharing these beautifully tender and intimate moments that you are having. So touching, honest, and real. Animal crackers are magical medicine:)
My pleasure, Sarah. Thanks for lending your ears. Always good to hear from And funny how the unexpected surprise of blogging is experiencing just how we’re all connected, how we all share so many similar experiences, how even though at times we may feel alone, somehow we’re all in this together. Short version: Life is a “trip”.